Ouch...

I'm the biggest nerd with the incredible ability to underestimate my pain threshold.


All day yesterday I had been saying how excited I was to go to the dentist. I'm glad I went, don't get me wrong. But, I completely forgot about how painful having sensitive teeth can be at times.


I had my regular cleaning with the gritty paste by the dental assistant, which was fine. Then I had the exam by Dr. Ed and we talked wisdom teeth. Next was the ultra sonic cleaning. This is the super powered water that jets out of the cavitron tip and can blast away calculus build up. Oh my goodness, this hurt. It gets into the sulcus (the space between gumline and tooth) and cleans it out. But, if you have sensitive teeth and sometimes sensitive gums, this can be a painful thing. I shudder at the thought of it. It's a necessary evil, I know this. My teeth are amazingly clean, though. Dr. also said that I don't have any new cavities, which he is proud of.


Two Fridays from now, on the 30th of July, I will be leaving work early and heading to my house where Drew will meet me. From there we are going to hustle over to Sunrise Dental and get at least one of my three wisdom teeth out. I have one that just decided to start really pushing through and it's not very pleasant! Drew is nervous on my behalf because he knows I don't manage pain very well.


Here is where prayer comes in!


God, help me be a strong woman and deal with whatever pain or fear that comes with dignity. I pray that I don't lose myself and become a child just because I have been known to be a sissy. I don't want this time to become an excuse for me to not do my wifely duties and maintain my home as I try to do. Amen.

Us in Maui in 2009. :-)

I {less than 3} the dentist

As silly as I am sure that sounds, I can't help it. I love going to the dentist. I love going to the optometrist. I love LOVE going to the doctor (it helps that it's my mom's clinic).


I have been in some serious pain with my wisdom teeth as of late. I know most of you are simply appalled that I still even have mine in at the ripe age of 23, but it's true. I only have three. Two are fully erupted and the third has recently decided to ascend into the world. This new pain has given me a huge appreciate and new level of sympathy to children who are just recently cutting teeth. It HURTS.


I'm going to the most awesome dentist in the whole freaking universe, Dr. Im at Sunrise Dental in Bellevue. Not only is he a dentist, but he is also a physician. He is also connected to my CEO in a way that gives us something pleasant and non generic to chat about.


My appointment for my general cleaning is tomorrow, but I am going to point out the angry little bugger poking it's way through my gums and hopefully we will be able to work out next steps to get them all out.


ACK! So excited. :-)


Mrs. P


(I love this man)

Thank God

Thank God for every day.
Thank God for unpleasant times, they remind me that I'm just human, I'm prone to mistakes, but I AM forgiven.
Thank God for good times, they remind me that I am blessed to be a child of His.
Thank God for my family, without them, I wouldn't know who I am.
Thank God for my friends, they keep me in line and bring joy to my life.
Thank God for my husband, he is my rock and my sanity.

After crying all over talking to Drew last night about the things in my previous post, he gave me a VERY valuable suggestion. "Give it up to God." I started to bawl when he said that because I truly had forgotten to do this. I prayed about how I wanted children, but was mad at myself for thinking too far ahead in the future and forgetting my present. After a refreshing shower, and time with my husband, I spent a little extra time with God where I prayed hard and said, "I am completely giving up control of this to you. I can't do it on my time, I need to be patient for yours. Help me to remember that it is my job to be a wife right now. Help me be a damn good one.". I felt much better after that. I know we aren't ready to start our family. I want to focus my energy on something I can control right now, and that's my intensity at my job, and in my marriage. Those two things will set the stage for whatever next comes along. I need to be ready for that. What better time to build my foundation than NOW?

Thanks God... You ROCK.

A reminder of where I am:

To Shed a Few Tears

I sit here on the couch while my husband works out in the apartment fitness center, and I'm crying.

I decided to watch last seasons final episode of Glee and it, of course, started the water works, which are now in moderate effect.

I realized that I'm not just crying because the episode touched my emotional bone... I am crying for a multitude of reasons. I cry during Glee because it reminds me of what I had. I used to sing, and I was pretty darn good by my senior year, thanks to many years in choir. It wasn't until that final year that I went for a solo. I sang the national anthem at my school's fall pep assembly and I wow'd them. A friend of mine told me that another student whispered in her ear as I began to sing, "Whoa! I didn't know Kali could do that...". It felt great. I also got to sing a solo at my own graduation with both of my parents there together, it was my dad's first time seeing me sing. This was one of the highest moments of my life and I still hold it very close to my heart. But, I feel ridiculous that I would be so depressed about it now. I don't sing with the control I used to have and it saddens me deeply. How I wish I had kept going, gone for more, tried to stand out... It's all about "what if" with me.

I cry for a second, also slightly silly reason. This is the episode where Quinn has her baby. I cried the hardest when she is in labor and Puck is watching over her with an appreciative gaze. I. WANT. THIS. Drew and I have been married for only 5 months and I can't wait to start our family. I want to be pregnant. I want to go into labor. I want to deliver this amazing creation. I want to hold that child with Drew by my side. I'm excited for those things! But, I stress out because it's still so early in our marriage to bring a child in to the mix. We live in a one bedroom apartment that is starting to get a little small for my tastes. It's perfect for us right now, don't get me wrong. This apartment is a blessing to us straight from God, and I don't want to forget that. But, there is of course this part of me (a VERY large part) that wants a 3 bedroom home. Guest room and office for now... I want the room for a family, eventually. BUT, I don't want to miss out on the first years of my marriage! You see my conundrum? I'm in love with children, and want my own brood, but I don't want to bring children in to the world just yet, but I want them now... And I go in circles. Stress me OUT.

The main thing I really need to keep remembering is that everything needs to be in God's time, not Kali's time. I want Drew and I to have purpose in our marriage. I want us to try to get pregnant, not have an "oops" baby. I want to feel like it was the right time for us and that we were mentally ready (ish).

I've started praying at night about this. That God would bring a sense of peace and take away my feelings of urgency. That I would be happy with where I'm at and stop looking so far in the future. I want to enjoy my time with my new husband. Ephesians 5, and the first paragraphs of 6, have been a huge reminder to me as well... I need to be a WIFE right now. I need to focus on the two of us before a third. But, Ephesians is a good guideline on how to be a good wife. It's been a nice reminder to read that. I just need to redirect my focus.

I almost forgot to post a picture...

Us at my loves, Kristin (Devereaux) and Kyle Bishop's wedding.